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You're tired of being told to squeeze into spandex — you like your butt just fine, thank you very much! Now, if only we could time travel and let designers know that we want to be able to wear vintage wiggle dresses, too. In the event that you wear shorts, they'll ride up and you'll feel self-conscious of all day long. On some women, short shorts are considered "chic," while on you, it's considered "vulgar" or "too sexy. They fit your legs and your waist, but then you turn around and boom — your butt has stretched out the material and made them totally see-through. The good news: As a result of evolution and a desire to procreate , larger butts are considered more attractive. Otherwise, your cute dress will become a long shirt — and reveal a whole lot of underbutt to the world. You're definitely a medium, but you always wind up getting a large.

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